1.) A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2.) What's the defination of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3.) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4.) A backward poet writes inverse.
5.) In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your count that votes.
6.) A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7.) If you don't pay your exorcist you get reposessed.
8.) With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9.) Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
10.) When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11.) The man who fell inot an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
12.) A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
13.) You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14.) Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
15.) He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16.) Every calendar's days are numbered.
17.) A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
18.) A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
19.) He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20.) A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21.) The short fourtuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
22.) Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23.) When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
24.) Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
25.) When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
26.) Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.